The Plan
6:59 PMYou know when you are a kid and you are waiting all month for Santa and it feels like no amount time will never get you there? That is what the last two weeks have felt like waiting for our next step in this journey! There has been so much anticipation for a solid diagnosis and plan...there is great uncertainty and mind wandering without a plan, it just about drove us all mad. However, while we all waited for today's appointment mom had so much love and company. Some of her best friends, Shelly and Kimmy, flew in from out of town and it was such a joy to have them here! Cannot thank you two enough, along with Sharon, for all your help with everything the last week! We are missing you gals big time already!
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| Sharon, Mama, Shelly, and Kimmy |
Today we had our long awaited appointment with Mom's oncologist, Dr. Sud. After some catching up Dr. Sud let us know he still did not have the pathology results we had been waiting on to determine the primary cancer source. WHAT. Thank God a nurse ran in shortly after that statement saying "we got it!" ...otherwise Mom and I would have just lost our minds. Here is what we know:
- The pathology report stated that with 90% certainty, it is pancreatic cancer. It is also with 95% certainty NOT breast cancer. While we had a gut feeling this was the case, it didn't make it any easier to hear.
- We also learned from the PET scan that the cancer has only spread to the liver. While it still sucks that the cancer has metastasized, it was nice to hear it hadn't spread any further than that.
- Mom will start chemotherapy next week. She will have a two chemo drug regimen that targets both pancreatic and breast cancer (although the pathology and PET scan show no breast involvement, her breast cancer tumor markers are still elevated). The chemo (Gemzar and Abraxane) will be once a week for three weeks followed by a "no chemo" week. This will repeat as long as the treatment is working.
- Mom asked many of the tough questions, including what her life looks like with and without treatment. Dr. Sud said that there is no cure for stage 4 cancer and without any treatment at all she can expect 4-6 months. With treatment, people average "a couple of years" with a pretty decent quality of life. I hate prognosis statements and I hate statistics, mostly because I don't think they always hold true for every patient. However, knowing Mom, there are many, many years to come.
I have always thought it was important to be as transparent as possible when writing. As much as I believe in positive attitudes to get you through the tough times, there are sometimes where it just isn't going to happen. The last few weeks have been admittedly really hard on everyone, especially mama. There have been days where we have all just been completely overcome with sadness and other days that are better and filled with laughter and joy. Some days (ok everyday) this just seems really unfair. While life isn't always "fair", sometimes you just wish it would cut you some freaking slack. But, as we finished up the appointment today with Dr. Sud, through the tears my mom said "well, we are going to fight like hell". And like hell we are. I have always admired my mother's ability to fight in every sense of the word. I know that we have a long road ahead but my Mom has this fierceness in her that can get her through anything.
Thank you everyone for your thoughts, prayers, kind words, and support. Mom is especially thankful for all of the calls, cards, flowers, etc. She cherishes every call and message but finds it exhausting to talk on the phone. We know we are not in this alone and we are so very thankful for everyone on "Team Mama Lou".
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| Mom and I enjoying ice cream and saying a little "F U" to cancer |
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| Kristen got this for Mom, could not be more fitting |
12 comments
Layne, I am so sorry to be reading another blog post about cancer with your family. My heart breaks for you all. I've know since the day I met you, as we were raising money for children's cancer, that you were an amazing woman. I keep your family in my prayers. If your mom is anything like you girls she will fight like hell and I have no doubt that you will have amazing memories with her throughout these years. God only knows the story of your lives and I know He is using every trial to strengthen you and make you the women you were meant to be. Congrats on the baby and I look forward to following you in this journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the update, and the straight up truth of what you guys are going through and feeling. Your mama raised two fine daughters, and she is blessed to have such amazing conduits of her voice. Love to all of you.
ReplyDeleteI love you all! I am praying for you... and I know that you are a family of fighters! My thoughts and prayers are with you ALWAYS!!!! MUCH LOVE!!! trisha barry johnson
ReplyDeleteBeautiful women..This is such bullshit! I can't stop thinking about how unfair this is, to such wonderful people. We are sending love and thinking of you all the time. Rox and Blake
ReplyDeleteI am a firm believer of prayer, whether if be the outcome we desire, that is not in our hands. Yes, life can be unfair, especially to the do good people. All others can do is provide prayer, reach out if needed, send cards to let her know how much she's loved and cared about. I will continue to send my maybe annoying cards to her and pray. My thoughts and prayers continue daily for your family.
ReplyDeleteIf you would like to send Louann a card, blessing or wish here is her addresss: 1691 W. Flamingo Dr. Chandler, AZ 85286---I will also make frequent checks on her work mailbox PHX #5321
ReplyDeleteYour Mom hired me at Southwest 21 years ago. She has held a special place in my heart ever since. She treated me with such kindness then and every time I ran into her after. She is truly a beautiful person and she will be in my heart and my prayers through this journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lane, i have to tell you how much i admire you and your Grace to share this incredible journey you have all been thru and now again... Tons of Love and prayers. I admire your Mom's determination and willingness to Fight the good Fight..She is a gift... Love, love, love, Kelly
ReplyDeleteI love you Layne and Mama Lou. May you find lots of happy moments in the midst of the unknowns.
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ReplyDeleteWe cannot believe this. We don't want to believe this, Our prayers and positive thoughts are with you all... your friends Scott & Cathleen Herrmann
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your recent loss. I stumbled upon your blog and am surprised at how much it parallels my husband's current battle. He was diagnosed at stage 4 pancreatic cancer with liver mets 9 days before Christmas. He did one round of chemo and decided being that sick is not how he wanted to live his remaining days. Hospice care started that week. He is now weak and very tired but taking things one day at a time. I SO appreciate your openness in describing what she went through. It gives me more insight into this horrible disease than I've found anywhere. May God be with you and your family. Hugs and prayers ... Angelic
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