Celebration of Life

Hi all-

 I know everyone has been anxiously awaiting information regarding Mom's celebration of life. I apologize for the delay- we were busy having a baby over here! Our sweet baby James was born April 14, 2016 at 12:44am weighing 8 pounds 12 ounces and measured 21 inches long. We love him more than words can say and are so grateful for him! We know Mom got to spend a good week with him in heaven before he came to us.





 Ive got limited time here (this is already my 5th day sitting on this blog post!) so here is the who what when where for easy sharing for Southwest or people who do not have access to the blog. I feel silly even having to mention this but since Mom's story got so much publicity I just want to remind everyone that this is a closed event for family, friends, and co-workers to celebrate my Mom's life and will not be open to the public. Thank you everyone for understanding!

 Celebration of life for LouAnn Alexander
Date: June 18, 2016
Time: 10am-1pm 
Location: SoHo63 [63 East Boston Street Chandler, AZ 85225]
There will be refreshments, a bloody mary and mimosa bar, as well as brunchy finger foods. 

 One of the best things my Mom did for my sister and I at my Dad's celebration of life was a memory jar. She had everyone bring two copies of a memory or story about Dad to put in jars, one for my sister and one for myself. It is so special to be able to go through all of them from time to time. If you could, please do the same for Mom's celebration of life. There will be paper provided if you want to write them out on the 18th.

 For those coming from out of town needing hotel accommodations there are millions to chose from but there is a Crowne Plaza hotel 1 minute walking distance from SoHo63 that has affordable rates!  The address is One San Marcos Place Chandler, AZ 85225

 I am sure I am missing something, but I am running on fumes over here. If you have any questions feel free to email me at Laynereneexo@gmail.com. See you all on the 18th!



Rest in Peace Mama

As many of you know by now, our beautiful Mama Lou took her "last flight" April 5, 2016 (8 weeks to the day after her initial diagnosis) after a strong and courageous battle with pancreatic cancer.

I don't think there is one word that describes her last week at hospice. The beginning of the week was really hard, she remained restless throughout the week even with an increase in medication. The staff were all shaking their head in disbelief of her strength and will power, but really, what else would you expect from Mama Lou? When the sublingual medications were no longer effective we tried subcutaneous injections (as a nurse, i had no idea this was available for pain management so it was pretty cool to see). By the end of the week we ended up accessing her port, increasing her pain meds and adding a short acting sedative called versed that was available to her every 30 minutes. Seeing her still restless even with the versed broke my heart. We asked her every question possible to figure out what was causing her discomfort: pain? uncomfortable? thirsty? scared? She always shook her head no. You get to a point where you just pray that they finally find peace and comfort and pass.

Hospice called me early on the 4th saying that her breathing had changed and she had become unresponsive on her own so they stopped the versed and would only continue her morphine and ativan. I think after a week of her being in the hospice facility I was worried they wouldn't tell me when she was making her final declines (sorry for doubting you!!). Sharon and I sat at her bedside all day sharing stories, laughing, crying, you name it, it was a roller coaster. Before you pass, your heart rate increases before it decreases, your breathing and skin change, urine output ceases. Mom had all of this yet she plateaued all day. Sharon and I kept saying "Lou/Mom, what are you waiting for!" I decided to stay the night because I knew the second I left something would happen. I felt so differently with Mom's passing vs. Dad's. I said my goodbyes to Dad a few hours before he passed because I didn't want that to be my last memory of him. With Mom, I felt honored to be able to be there for her last breath. What a gift to be able to love your loved ones till the very end. 

Mom stayed the same the most of the night. I went to the living room to lay down on the couch around midnight: part hoping that she needed a little bit of time to herself, and the other really pregnant part of me could no longer lay in the recliner: the slightest recline makes my arms fall asleep! I came back around 4am and just stared at her, her breathing was so shallow you couldn't even see her breath. The nurse came in and checked her pulse and pulse ox and her heart rate was in the 30's. I said to her nurse, okay maybe we are getting closer. Well low and behold she knew I was there and her heart rate went right back up!

I ended up deciding to go home and shower the morning she passed. I said to Mom, "Mom, I love you but I have GOT to shower! If you want to pass while I am gone that is fine, and if not I will be back really soon". Mom's nurse called me at 9:43am and said "Layne her breathing changed I think we are getting close". Aaron and I were already in the car on our way so he held on for dear life as I drove a little faster than the speed limit. 

Mom passed at 9:47am. Her nurse said she was in Mom's room while she was on the phone with me and when she told her that I was in the car on my way she passed almost immediately. I knew that was her motherly instinct trying to protect me. A mother's love is so selfless and I felt so at peace knowing she went the way she wanted. 

While my heart hurts not having her physically here, especially so close to James' arrival (I still shake my head and say "really?!") I cannot tell you the peace we feel after seeing her suffer for so long. She hardly ever complained through the whole process and let her amazing light shine through all the crap she had to deal with. We are lucky to have been able to spend so many wonderful years with her learning how to love life and enjoy every moment. Having her as a mother is the greatest thing that could have ever happened and if I am 1/10th of the Mom she was, James will be a lucky boy.

Before I get into my thank you's, many have asked about a funeral/celebration of life. We will be having a celebration of life to honor and celebrate Mom's life, most likely in June. We are working on details now and as soon as we have a date and location I will let you know. We wanted to give everyone ample time to request off work/book flights etc. We also have a PayPal account set up under Laynereneexo@gmail.com - any money raised will be split between The Lustgarten Foundation (non profit for pancreatic cancer research) and Hospice of the Valley and donated in Mom's name. 

Aaron: My earthly angel. I still am in disbelief that God sent me such an amazing man to call my husband and raise a family with. You have been so selfless through all of this and the biggest shoulder for me to lean on, I could not have done this without you. Thank you for taking care of literally everything while I spent time with Mom, all while working, spending endless time with us at Mom's or hospice, taking care of Tyson, keeping up with my rollercoaster of emotions...I could go on forever. Your heart is bigger than you will ever know and I am so grateful to be able to share this life with you. Cannot wait to bring our sweet little James into this world in ONE WEEK! Where did the time go!?


Sis: I am so proud of you. It has been so special to watch you grow into the woman you are today and while I know this has been so tough you have faced it head on and stepped up to the plate when you needed to. I can't tell you how much my heart bursted to see you come back and see Mom at hospice after you had already said your goodbyes. It takes a strong person to do that, you are stronger than you know. You and Mom had such a special bond and I hope you know that will continue the rest of your life. 

Sharon: Mom's besty best. Wow. I am actually having trouble finding words to properly thank you. You not only held my Mom's hand through all of this but did endless hours of behind the scene cleaning, organizing, errands, oh my god when did you sleep?! The friendship you two created over the last 20+ years is a friendship people dream about. Thank you for the laughs, sanity checks, letting me vent, and most of all loving Mom so deeply. 

Ross & Rex: Thank you for spending weeks down here in Arizona with us helping out, spending time with Mom, and cooking fabulous meals. Mom was lucky to have brothers like you and I know she will continue to watch over you as you both continue to accomplish so much in your personal and professional lives. 

Hospice of the Valley: I am crying just thinking of you all that took care of my Mom. Trish, Jen, Lisa,   Lorie, Dr. Melissa, Amanda, Nora...and the list doesn't even end there. I have never met a care team more selfless and loving and could not be more grateful for the love you put into caring for Mom, even in what would be the most frustrating moments you simply just loved her. You all did everything in your power to make her comfortable up to her very last breath. Your care did not stop with my Mom but making sure our whole family was cared for. There will never be enough to repay you for all you have done. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Southwest Airlines: If I didn't work for an equally amazing team and company doing what I love, I would jump ship and come work for you. My whole life I have seen the love you have for your employees. While I know passengers see what an amazing company you are from a business standpoint, it is really admirable to see it from the eyes of the family of your employees. Thank you for always supporting my Mom. Thank you Colleen for calling Mom a few weeks ago, I have rarely seen her feel as honored as she was that day. Thank you for all the SWA employees for everything-those who know Mom and those who don't- your love was felt throughout it all.

To be honest, I think I could write a book of thank you's [To name a few more: Shelly, Mo, Kimmy, Janet, Chandler Regional Medical center & Ironwood Cancer & Research center, everyone who wrote cards/sent flowers/etc, and basically everyone that loved and supported us through this journey.] Thank you never seems to be enough but please know we are all eternally grateful. We will never forget the love you all showed Mom.


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Alexander Gals

Alexander Gals

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