Our New Journey
8:37 AMGood morning and happy Tuesday all!
It has been a little over a week since Mom's first chemo and a lot has happened to say the least. Lets just dive in, we have a lot to talk about.
Chemo was extremely rough on Mom. Tuesday was ok as she still had steroids in her system from the chemo, but she was exhausted and achy. Wednesday she woke up was in excruciating pain and she was a little jaundice (aka yellow if you aren't familiar with the medical terminology) in the inner corners of her eyes and under them. While this is obviously not normal, I wasn't sure if this was part of her disease process or a side effect from the chemo. We called the triage nurse at Mom's cancer center and she said not to go to the ER unless mom was vomiting and/or having diarrhea and she would make a note for Dr. Sud when we followed up with him Friday. Shelly (one of Mom's BFF's) and I watched her become more yellow throughout the day as she rested from the chemo. I've never seen anything like it (by the time they get to the ER, people are usually REALLY yellow. We will go over why she specifically was yellow in a little bit).
Flash forward to Friday 3/4, Shelly and Mom went to Dr. Sud's office for her follow up. Dr. Sud asked a few questions in regards to Mom's coloring and sent her straight to the ER to see what the problem was. I had the stomach flu that day so I couldn't be there but I knew she was in the best hands (have I told you I work with the best, most intelligent, hard working, caring, doctors, nurses, techs, etc? Well I do, and it sure makes not being at the hospital with your Mom a little easier).
Mom stayed in the hospital Friday-Sunday. They ran every test and lab in the book, consulting with various departments. After all was said and done, the final word was that the cancer had spread in her liver at a remarkable rate. A tumor had completely blocked off her bile duct (Since my coffee hasn't kicked in this morning I think this website does a pretty good job of explaining the function of bile duct ect.) Gastrointestinal doctors and Interventional Radiologists looked at all of Mom's scans and concluded that no stent could be placed or surgery could be done to bypass the tumor. The only option left was chemo but that really was not an option either as the chemo is excreted through the bile duct which is blocked, not to mention chemo cannot be done with bilirubin levels higher than 2..moms was 12.4.
We then had the tough conversation with our oncology team that since there was nothing medically to be done, hospice was our only option. It still knocks the wind out of me typing it. It honestly feels like a sick joke because a month ago our sweet Mama Lou was flying the sky's and in perfect health (at least from how she felt and looked-cancer is so fucking sneaky sometimes).
We are heartbroken. Sad. Mad. I think we have all had every emotion in the book. You can't always control the cards you are dealt but we sure are soaking up every second possible. We have been asked many times about how much time we are looking at, and truthfully how can you ever know? However, looking at the progression of the tumors over the last few weeks, her cancer is growing at a remarkable rate. Since it has already blocked off a vital organ, we are probably looking at a couple of weeks.
We have chosen to use Hospice of the Valley for Mom's care through the rest of her journey. We have already met with her nurse at home and she is amazing. The hearts of the people that work for this organization just blow me away. They will be in and out and come to Mom's as frequently or infrequently as Mom needs.
Anytime you have an obstruction, it is extremely painful. We have battled getting mom's pain under control from the start and finally have her on medications that keep her relatively pain free. However, the dose is pretty significant so it makes her sleepy and honestly hallucinate a little bit. She has a hard time focusing when reading but we read her every card and note she gets... I know she loves and appreciates them all.
Mama Lou has the best village, there are no words that will adequately express our gratitude for all the love and support she has. We thank you for respecting our privacy as we spend time with close family and friends. If you have any questions at all you can always email me at Laynereneexo@gmail.com or reach out to Sharon or Shelly. I will keep you all updated through the blog, we love you all!
24 comments
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ReplyDeleteI adore you LouAnn and thank you for being you. I am sending love daily to you and your family. Love Andrew Kane.
ReplyDeleteI just keep reading this over and over and over again because I cannot believe it. I offer so many prayers and will be asking all my friends to be praying too.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking for all of you. My prayers will keep coming. God bless❤
ReplyDeleteMy heart is breaking for all of you. My prayers will keep coming. God bless❤
ReplyDeleteLove you LOU, so very much. Prayers for you and your beautiful girls, Lanye, and Kristen.
ReplyDeleteLouAnn, you will always be my BadASS driving Cadillac CTS girl!! Love you to the Moon!!
Stacey
My thoughts and prayers are with you LouAnn and your beautiful girls. I'm so sorry that you're all going through this again. I wish I could take it away. God bless 3 of the strongest women on the planet. 🙏🏻👼🏼🙏🏻👼🏼🙏🏻👼🏼❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDeletevery nice comment, Dawn. I stand in agreement.
DeleteDearest LouAnn. There are no words...Only screams and tears flowing at the insanity and unfairness of all of this. Peace and Understanding will be a long time coming, but through it all, there is Love. The measure of a life is in the Love given and received, and yours is simply immeasurable. Beyond any definition of time or space. Every single person you have touched will carry your Love forward and onward. All we are really here to do is walk each other home. Take our hands, we all walk with you. My Love and Deepest Gratitude, Tyla.
ReplyDeleteI flew with Lou Ann when I was brand new in Phoenix over 20 years ago and I remember how nice she was to me and will never forget her kindness. My thoughts and prayers for her and her family!��������
ReplyDeleteDear LouAnn, my heart aches for you and your daughters. Although we didn't know each other that long, just a few short years. I met you through my daughter Tyla when she was going through her cancer restoration and we all went to New Orleans together. We had a great time together and then we started "Words" together. Cancer is so vicious and takes over without warning until it cannot be stopped. I will walk with you too. Bless you always, Joyce
ReplyDeleteLouAnn, my heart is breaking for you and you girls. You have always been so kind and have had such a great spirit, even when going thru all of your battles. You are a great mom and your girls are strong, smart loving women because of that. They know how much you love them. I pray for you every day. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God Bless you <3 Sandra
ReplyDeleteWell what an absolute punch in the gut this is. I have continued to pray for you and I was envisioning a lot of life still to be lived for you. I know that God sometimes has a different plan, like it or not. I also know that we will all leave this earth at some point, and I believe that if you can make a mark on this world then you have had an amazing existence. You are not only leaving a mark in the incredible daughters you gave life to, but you have touched too many people's hearts to name. That is an accomplishment to be proud of my friend. Cancer is not going to win. You won. You have held your head high, lived life to it's fullest, been a good friend to many, loved and been loved. You have won. We are sending you more prayers for peace. All our love, Greg and Leslie
ReplyDeleteOh my fellow breast cancer sister... You are one strong woman and I have learned a lot of that from you. I would not be where I am if it weren't for your wisdom, words and guidance... I love you and hang tough 💗💗😃
ReplyDeleteOur thoughts and prayers are with LouAnn and her family... Chris & Susan Knops
ReplyDeleteLet go my sweet sister in CHRIST....JESUS is coming to take you home to the KINGDOM! PARADISE FOREVER! We will all see you again sweet girl!!!! Your JOB is FINISHED here!!!! Well done my good and faithful servant! I LOVE YOU LOUANN and I will never forget your sweet smile and beautiful blonde hair when we used to do french braids and I always told you how BEAUTIFUL your hair was!!!! You have been such an inspiration to sooooooooo many of us! You are HIGHLY respected and LOVED like you will never know!!!!! BLESS you my sweet sister and kisses to your daughters that truly adore you! Thank you so much for these letters that you have written! God Bless!!!! Lynda Beal...
ReplyDeleteWow wow wow! Louann its jeff i will never forget the time we were flying together, well lets just say God was very happy after that trip along with both of us. I am glad i got to be a part of that moment. I hear your not feeling well. Whats that about? i dont like to hear that. Ok we never spent lots of time together or anything but everytime i saw you in the flight attendant lounge my day was always a little brighter. Ive always respected you. Louann i dont like to think you dont have much time on this earth left, i want to think a miracle is coming, but you already are a miracle thats the way i think and believe. I dont know how much pain you have gone through already and how much your going through right now plus how much your family is facing but God does and no one knows you better then him. This life is a short earthly existence compared to eternity and really eternity is one breath away for all of us. So whether you stay here or leave this temporary home called earth, i thank God for you and that he is always there to welcome you when the angels of God escort you to glory, whenever that is. love you Louann Jeff p.s. if i can do anything for you just name it i will, please let me know
ReplyDeleteAs a breast cancer sister, Lou Ann you were my Beacon light of encouragement when I received my diagnosis two years ago. We have never met, yet you talked with me and helped me find my confidence to walk through this journey, and get back to what I love doing as a Southwest flight attendant. Please know that my arms reach to embrace you from afar, and I send back to you peace and love
ReplyDeletePerhaps she doesn't know how many lives she touched , but I flew with her years ago on reserve and she made me feel at home and loved. Sending her my prayers ...
ReplyDeleteWe all love you, LouAnn. I am so sorry you do not feel well. Forever Grateful for knowing you and your kind, gentle spirit. I will never forget the day you asked to join me for lunch or dinner in Minneapolis at the Embassy Suites. Your kind, sweet words were like a fresh rain. Thank You. I continue to ask God to perform a Miracle and bring you a quick healing in Jesus' name.
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ReplyDeleteLouAnn, you have touched so many lives and inspired many people. You've inspired me with your kindness, intelligence, laughter and overall outlook on life. Your such an amazing strong woman and that strength will live on in Kristen and Layne. You will forever be in my heart wearing that huge derby hat smiling that huge smile that lights up your face in a way that makes everyone around you smile. My prayers are with you, your family and close friends through this difficult time. Just know without a doubt you are truly loved and admired by many and because of who you are this world is a better place. You made a difference... To family, friends, co-workers and even strangers who were on your flight. Hold your head up high with pride Mama Lou!!! Your an incredible person and I'm blessed I knew you!!!
ReplyDeleteLouAnn, I was off Facebook for so long and word of this just came and left me speechless. I've been thinking of you so much since and I sure wish I got to meet you in person! You are quite an amazing woman---there's no doubt about that! Thanks for all the SWA memories! Many hugs! Jenny R.
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